Astros team slogan ideas for 2013

A new year is upon us and the Astros will need a new marketing slogan to get fans excited about the team. It will be tough to replace the incredibly clever and popular Root, Root, Root campaign. Seriously, I hope whoever came up with that one has been fired. I mean… what were they thinking? Let’s come up with one word other than terrible that exemplifies the team and repeat it a couple of times? C’mon!

Around this time last year I came up with a few that I thought were pretty good. Several of them were head and shoulders above Root, Root, Root but weren’t exactly what you would call politically correct. The one that was ahead of it’s time and ranks number one on my list for 2013 is:

American League Horror Story.

Mike Trout and Jose Altuve cross paths in the 2012 All Star Game (Scott Rovak/USA TODAY Sports)

If that one doesn’t tickle your funny bone, perhaps you’re not familiar with the macabre TV series American Horror Story that appears on the FX network on Wednesday night’s. If you haven’t seen it and enjoy programs that are shocking and downright disturbing, then check it out. Just make sure you don’t let the kids watch.

I feel it’s only fitting to stick with a television theme for this years slogan ideas. If the new Regional Sports Network, Comcast SportsNet Houston, doesn’t get it together soon we may not be able to watch the Astros on TV this year. If that’s the case we will have to look for alternative viewing options.

Or maybe we could get the Astros to sneak the games onto another network under a different name. Here are a few of my ideas. We’ll start with the obvious. Oh, and get ready for one that makes light of Jose Altuve’s height.

Astros team slogan ideas for 2013: TV edition

The Biggest Losers – Okay, that was a bit of a cheap shot but I think we’re in for another tough season.

Scrubs – That one was just too obvious, again my apologies.

Houston Five-O – I figure that’s how many wins the Astros will get. Fifty.

Too broke to fix – This is a variation of the Fox series Two Broke Girls.

Clubhouse Confrontation – Fights could break out. If you haven’t seen MLB Network’s Clubhouse Confidential I highly recommend it.

9 & 1/2 Men – Addding a DH would put most teams at 10 players but we love Jose Altuve and the fact that he’s as tall as a 12-year old.

Think you can do better? Let’s hear what you’ve got.