Astros Rivals: Five Reasons To Hate The Texas Rangers

Mar 2, 2015; Surprise, AZ, USA; Texas Rangers starting pitcher

(45) poses for a portrait during Photo Day at Surprise Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Reason #3:

Starting pitcher Derek Holland’s nickname is “Dutch Oven.” Do you know what a dutch oven is? Maybe you’re thinking about the deep dish cookware, but that’s not what we’re going for here.

In slang terms, a “dutch oven” is when someone farts under the blanket and pulls it over their bedmate’s head. It’s cruel and unusual, and it may be outlawed by the Geneva Conventions (although it is hilarious if you aren’t the victim).

Also, Holland has a dish named after him at Globe Life Park in Arlington. The ingredients include tater tots, steak or chicken, bell peppers, jalapenos, and buffalo sauce. Sounds like a prelude to a dutch oven. With a meal like that, Rangers fans should be thankful they sit in an open air stadium.

So next time you think of Derek Holland, pinch your nose and think of how unpleasant that nickname is.

Next: The Ryan Express