Astros’ new concession food looks like a heart attack waiting to happen

Look, we all have to accept that when you go to a baseball game, the "healthy" options are not exactly plentiful. Going to games live is a special treat and one that is often accented with lots of hot dogs, Cracker Jacks, soda, and yes, beer for many. There is no shame in enjoying yourself as long as you do so in moderation. However, the Houston Astros' new ballpark food is certainly pushing the boundaries a bit.

Most of the new additions to the concessions at Daikin Park are actually pretty straightforward and could be great. You have the Boomin' Onion, which is ripping off exactly what you think it is, as well as a buffalo chicken pizza that looks rather tasty.

However, one of the other new additions is certainly eyebrow-raising and also quintessential Texas, as the Astros are introducing a fried brisket donut, and we have some questions/concerns.

Astros are introducing a fried brisket donut at Daikin Park, which looks like it could take years off fans' lives

Now, when you first see the phrase "fried brisket donut", it doesn't really compute. Then, you pivot to possible logical explanations, such as, "Oh, they are putting beef brisket on a donut or making a brisket sandwich, and the buns are donuts." No, the Astros are taking two pieces of brisket, shaping them like donuts, and deep-frying them. Hello darkness, my old friend.

There are other questions as well, such as including mac and cheese as a side. Who eats two deep-fried pieces of brisket and thinks that they need something to fill them up even more with cheese and shame? Also, what style of barbecue sauce comes on this abomination, because, as we all know, Texas barbecue aficionados are going to care a lot about the details here.

As long as everyone understands what they are getting into, then godspeed. It isn't like the fried brisket donut is trying to masquerade as anything other than pure gluttony in its highest form. Whatever you do, just don't go back for seconds. There are people out there in the world who care about you.