Astros: Time to dispel some crazy rumors, theories from this week

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Let’s set the record straight and dispense with some of these crazy Astros theories.

Man, what a week has it been. We started things off with Monday’s collective kick in the crotch, as the Astros were publicly denounced as cheaters and Jeff Luhnow and AJ Hinch were shown the door. Since then, it’s been days of speculation, rumors and crazy unsubstantiated fan theories all across the board. It’s exhausting.

Social media is both beautiful and ugly, useful yet utterly worthless. It’s given every tin-foil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorist a platform, and it likewise gives certain major league pitchers (sometimes named Tyler Bauer) the opportunity to spread outright lies and disinformation.

The Astros are everyone’s favorite villain, and if you listen to some of the other teams’ fans, the club should have its 2017 title stripped and its players banned from the game. But there’s reason to believe that would be entirely unfair, as this club surely isn’t the only one to have illegally stolen signs.

Social media has also given credence to some fan takes which are nothing more than wishful thinking, specifically when it comes to who will be running the team moving forward. With these things in mind, here’s my humble attempt to set the record straight and dispel some of these theories.

HOUSTON, TX – APRIL 05: Lance Berkman, Reid Ryan, President of Business Opeations and Roy Oswalt, from left, take questions from the media at Minute Maid Park on April 5, 2014 in Houston, Texas. Berkman and Oswalt signed one day personal services contracts to retire as Houston Astros. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images) /

Reid Ryan Will Not Be The Next GM

Look, I get why fans would like to see this. Ryan, as the son of Hall-of-Famer Nolan Ryan and the Astros’ outgoing president of business operations, is essentially Astros royalty. His company owns the Round Rock Express and Corpus Christi Hooks, and he’s been around the game his entire life.

But Ryan has worked on the business side of things, not the baseball side. His job and Luhnow’s job were vastly different, and you wouldn’t want them to have switched roles. They were both good at what they did, but weren’t necessarily positioned to do the other’s job.

The Astros need someone with experience in baseball operations to take Luhnow’s place, someone who knows how to operate a front office and can negotiate with Scott Boras and Brian Cashman and everyone else. Ryan has many great qualities, but he’s not a baseball operations guy. He’s not a fit.

Craig Biggio, Jeff Bagwell or Lance Berkman Will Not Be The Next Manager

Similar to Ryan, these wishes are rooted much more in nostalgia than in reality. All three of these guys are all-time greats for the franchise, and Berkman should join his fellow Killer B’s and have his number retired by the club one day.

But none of these guys have any real major league coaching experience, and there’s no indication they would even want the job anyway. As with the GM role, you want someone who’s been working in a major league clubhouse, and none of these three have been doing that.

This is why guys like Buck Showalter and John Gibbons are getting interviewed. Gibbons led the Blue Jays to the ALCS in 2016, and Showalter is coming off a great run with the Orioles. Even Will Venable, who has no managerial experience, has been working as the Cubs’ third base coach. These guys have been in the game.

HOUSTON, TX – OCTOBER 21: Jose Altuve #27 of the Houston Astros celebrates after hitting a solo home run against Tommy Kahnle #48 of the New York Yankees during the fifth inning in Game Seven of the American League Championship Series at Minute Maid Park on October 21, 2017 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images) /

Allegations of Buzzer Use Are Ridiculous

Now to the twitterverse’s topic du jour. People who are “drunk on schadenfreude,” as ESPN’s Jeff Passan perfectly put it, have accused Astros players such as Jose Altuve and Josh Reddick of wearing buzzers attached to their bodies in 2019 as a way to be notified of what pitch is being thrown.

First, let’s take these allegations with a grain of salt or two, as the people making them simply want to see the Astros vilified and torn down even more. The club is a scapegoat, and these people are happy to see it happen. Their motives are far from pure.

And of course there’s no proof of any of this. In fact, the Reddick accusation was debunked, as the photo in question was of a piece of confetti that had stuck to his chest rather than a piece of tape or a bandage. For Altuve, apparently him not wanting his teammates to rip his jersey off following his 2019 ALCS-clinching home run is evidence enough that he was wearing a buzzer.

If any of these people were capable of using logic, they would surely realize that if Altuve really were wearing a buzzer under his jersey, his teammates would be aware of it as well, and thus would’ve already known not to pull it off. But instead they stick to their theories like pine tar on George Brett‘s bat.

Add in the fact that the league confirmed it found no evidence of any rule breaking by the Astros in 2019, and you can consider that accusation debunked as well. If anyone has real evidence — and not just a photo of a random wrinkle in someone’s jersey — let’s hear it. Otherwise get a grip.

COOPERSTOWN, NY – JULY 27: Inductee Tony La Russa gives his speech at Clark Sports Center during the Baseball Hall of Fame induction ceremony on July 27, 2014 in Cooperstown, New York. La Russa managed for 33 seasons with 2,728 victories and led his teams to six pennants and three Worls Series titles. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images) /

Astros Are Not Alone

I’m not just referring to the Red Sox here. If anyone thinks this sign stealing mess began and ended with Alex Cora, they’re only kidding themselves. We’ve already had clubs like the Yankees and Dodgers accused of it, and now it’s gone even further.

Former major league pitcher Jack McDowell has accused longtime manager Tony LaRussa of instigating a sign stealing scheme when he was manager of the White Sox in the 1980s. Supposedly, there was a camera zoomed in on the catcher, and a light in an outfield sign that was controlled from the manager’s office would light up to signal hitters.

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McDowell said that illegal sign stealing has been going on for years, with everyone looking the other way similar to the steroid era. This practice did not begin with the Astros, no matter how many people want to believe it did.

Besides, it’s not as though they were using any new technology — cameras have been around for decades. Does anyone really think the 2017 Astros were the first ones to come up with the idea of using a camera to steal signs? I find that laughable.

But everyone outside of the Houston fan base wants to see the Astros made into the scapegoat for this whole thing. They’re the evil, cheating Astros who should all be banned from the sport for life, regardless of the fact that they weren’t the first to do it. They were just the first to get publicly caught.

I suspect there will be more teams and names outed as time goes on, revealing that illegal sign-stealing is indeed as pervasive as McDowell indicates and that it’s been going on for longer than anyone wants to admit. Making the Astros the sacrificial lamb won’t save the league from this.

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